Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Not Good Enough?

Ever feel like no matter how much you try or do for others it is just not good enough?  I've felt this way off and on probably all my life but lately the part about doing things for others is getting to me. A LOT.  I am tired of feeling this way.  I try really hard to do things for myself, my family, friends and in general other people but yet feel unappreciated most of the time. Like what I did do for them, was just not good enough.  I hate feeling like that.  I hate that people can make me feel like that.  The question is how do I change it?  I obviously can not change their opinions (or what I think is their opinions) but I can change my way of thinking.  That goes back to my how question, so how do you handle that?

I imagine most of us feel this way at some point or another in our lives. I just think it's time for a change and need to focus on me.  Why do we care what others think so much? Is it ingrained in our minds as we're growing up, that if we can't do something "right", we are going to disappoint our parents, family and/or friends? I try really hard to not do that to my kids, but I am sure I've slipped. I am not perfect.  I just want my kids to grow up and know they tried and it's OK if they didn't do something perfect or the way someone else wanted it. 

I guess it's time for some soul searching to see if I can figure out how to not let myself get down when I think others are looking down on me or my actions.  If you have any suggestions I am all ears... well eyes ;)


d e v a n said...

Hmm... well, you know I struggle with what others think of me. A lot.
In some cases you have to say "screw 'em" (Case in point: My MIL)
In other cases I try to interpret things with positive intent, even if it doesn't seem as if the other people are coming from that place. That way I can tell myself it's not personal.
Sometimes I do find I have to change things though, like me stepping down as AO. I just couldn't do it any more, it's taking too much of a toll on my personal time & the way I feel about myself, which then affects my family & other relationships and is, therefore, unacceptable. Also, I don't enjoy it as much anymore and I'd like to get back to a place where it's more fun for me.

longest comment ever? LOL

Mommy Attorney said...

I meant to comment earlier. I feel this way a lot as well. I think it is just a woman thing. I think Devan's advice is good. Try and interpret people's actions in the most positive light possible.