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Friday, March 30, 2012

The One Where

I talk about a little bit of everything. Not really surprised are you? Most of my blog entries these days are just random bits of information of things going on in my life. So I must continue my tradition lol.

So onward, first bit of news, I got a new job. :) One that is SO flexible and perfect, it's almost scary. I am going to be working part time in the nursery classes at one of our local churches.  There are a lot of great things about this job, it's less than two miles from me which saves on gas, it's completely flexible, meaning I choose my hours, the people are awesome and we've been talking about starting to go to church there. Another perk, I get to wear casual clothes, yay! Main hours are Sunday mornings of course, but I do not have to work every Sunday, as you sign up for the ones you want to work, plus some occasional Sun. nights and weekday nights as well.  Again, work as much or as little as you want.  I've only signed up for 2 days for April & May right now, mostly because of softball games and the other dates are filled with other workers. I am willing to bet I'll get a few more hours though.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, that while I do believe in God and I pray a lot, I've been missing something. I've never felt that you HAD to attend church to believe or be a Christian and I still do not.  There is a lot more to that, but I'll just leave it at that.  I grew up in the Church, attended every Sunday, evening and Wednesday evening as well, always involved, VBS, Choir, Nursery, Youth Groups etc  My husband however wasn't, and I knew this, so I've never pushed him to go.  I know he would go with me, because that would be what I would want, but I would want him to go because he wanted to.  So a few nights ago we were talking when I first found out about the job opening, that I was thinking of starting to attend again.  He was all for it and I had even mentioned he didn't have to, but he seems like he wants to and interested in learning more.  I've done a lot more praying in the last two years of my life, than I have in a long time.  Things have been rough for us and some days I am not sure I see the silver lining and I've felt a pull.  The pull to return to church, perhaps that has what has been missing in my life that I couldn't quite seem to figure out.

A year ago my mom had a major stroke, while in the beginning it didn't seem like the outcome would be so bad.  She was alert, knew who she was, her birthday, year, president etc, however a few days later her body started shutting down.  She slipped into a coma for a little over a week. During that week the doctors gave us grim news and told us to prepare for the worst.  They started talking hospice, and what we needed to do etc. Looking back it was surreal, we sat talking about her memorial service, what to do with the house, her stuff....never in my life did I see this happening at her age.  People all around the US and a few other countries were praying for us, and God heard those prayers and she began to wake up from her coma.  I could not believe it, but I cried tears of joy.  She started talking and being alert and knew she had a stroke, but didn't remember coming to the hospital etc, but I was just glad she was alive.

This last year has been crazy, her leaving the hospital, coming to a nursing home here in AL, then literally days later the horrible April 27th tornadoes came leaving us without power for a week. Thankfully we made it through with just loss of food and a tree, so I can't complain to much.  She has come so far from where she was in April of last year, had a feeding tube, barely sitting up on her own, to now eating just fine, getting around in her wheel chair due to her paralyzed left side but for the most part I am happy.  There are still struggles and hard times, but I just pray we're headed in the right direction. 

So in the end my random post was about a lot of praying, my mom, about life and moving forward.  That's what we try to do everyday, look ahead & move forward.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Uninspired

That is me these days, I am uninspired for many things, blogging, cooking, going out with friends, etc. I don't know what happened, I am in a rut. So what exactly have I been up to since I can't seem to blog more than once a month? A little bit of everything.

Quick List:

-Making 5 Egyptian costumes, 100 swaps, poster size flag, hieroglyphs chart/puzzle, researching & gathering info about Egypt for the GS World Thinking Day.
- Speech for K
- Physical Therapy for K
- Softball practice for J & H almost daily between the two of them
- Dealing with mom stuff, trying to get her into an assisted living place vs nursing home, etc etc.
- Playgroup stuff
- Family stuff
- Random stuff, you know paying bills, house cleaning, laundry, etc.

Still trying to find some ME time in all of that. I desperately need to get out of the house more. I think I am slightly depressed these days and feel quite alone. I don't know what happened to me... I used to get out at least every other day for some type of play date, mno, mni, something. Now, not so much.

I think, well I know, a lot of it has to do with Kaitlyn.  Not blaming her, but it's hard to be around people, even friends, that have kids K's age (or even younger) who are doing, well everything.  :( I want to take her out more and probably should even take her walker, but what do you do at a play date with a walker and curious other kids. I know they will want to play with it, take it and run with it, and there will sit K, wondering what the hell just happened.  I feel so sad for her right now, she needs interaction with kids her age, but she'll get left behind since she can't just run with them when they choose to go somewhere else.

Will things ever get better? Will I ever feel like we can get out and go and not worry about other kids or parents and what they do/say/think? I sure hope so, but until then, I guess I'll continue to be a hermit and hope that a spot opens in the EI playgroup soon.