It's Fall Y'All

It's October! How did that happen? I swear this year is flying by for the most part, but there are days, days like today that make it seem like it's dragging by.  October is the time for Fall, and the weather seems to have arrived in Alabama. It was a cold 39 Monday morning when we got up, hello heater! I love fall, the crisp, cool air, the leaves changing colors, the pumpkin patches, Halloween and basically it is the kick off for holiday festivities.

Life is pretty much the same right now, just trying to make it through each day.  I did post last time about looking for work, and I've had one of the jobs I applied for contact me, had 2 interviews, and now it's the waiting game to see if I get it.  It would be near perfect, M-F, 20 hours, just need decent pay.  I don't feel great about how the second interview went, but I was nervous, I can't recall being nervous like I was this time, strange.   I hope to hear something today, even if its an email saying they hired someone else, because then I can move on.  I am not good at waiting, especially for something like this.

J just finished up her volleyball season, her team came in 4th place in their age group before the tournament, but after it they finished in 3rd.  Way to go Purplicious! It's amazing to see how far their team has come since the beginning of practice.  They were sooo close to beating the 1st place team, which actually ended up 2nd in the tournament, so they were very happy.  

October is also Spina Bifida Awareness month and I hope to help spread the info! I'll be writing a separate post on my SB blog asap, so I will not put tons here.  However, I am excited to say I met in person, in the last couple weeks, 3 great SB mamas and their kiddos! It's really nice to have someone to talk to here, locally and get support and advice. Sometimes I still feel alone in this world, but we're slowing getting out there and meeting others. So be sure to check my other blog later today on how you can help prevent Spina Bifida and how to live life even after the diagnosis.

Life

Life sure seems to be full of... well life.  I find myself wanting to blog but yet not really having time to.  By the time the evening rolls around and the kids are asleep I've got tons of things to catch up on.  So this will be a random post for sure. 

Since my last post, we've celebrated Hailey's 6th Birthday, Kaitlyn turned 10 months old and summer is coming soon! I am in denial that H is 6 and K will soon be 1.  :( I know I say this often but I feel like I missed out on so much the first few months with all the dr appointments, surgery, etc that I can't believe it's almost been a year since she joined the family. I will do a post for birthday pictures etc soon.  I'm behind on downloading pictures and taking them :/

I am still working, mostly about 3 days a week, which is just fine.  There has been scheduling issues for over a month now but miraculously the last 2 have been right.  I know, shocking. Most weeks I haven't been able to get out for a mno due to work, so I was finally off one night this past weekend and got together with some friends for dinner. So glad I did, I really needed that break and as always had a great time. :)

I am also busy trying to plan and keep up with Relay for Life stuff as normal and add the Spina Bifida bowl-a-thon coming up soon, I am spread pretty thin.  Kaitlyn returns to UAB on April 18 for her 6 month check in MRI and Renal Ultrasound.  I am not looking forward to it at all...she'll be more alert, and aware they are trying to put her to sleep. :( I know it has to be done and it'll become quite normal for her later but it still sucks.

So speaking of Spina Bifida and the bowl-a-thon, I need your help! (you didn't think you were gonna get off easy did you?)  :)

My team, Kaitlyn's Kingpins, has to raise at least $125 total, but my personal goal is $100 or more. I've donated $20 myself, and am asking you if you'll help? This is a great cause, and very very dear to me and come on, look at this face and tell me you can resist helping her???

I didn't think so! So go ahead and click on Kaitlyn's Kingpins and make a donation today!!!

Remembering

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day, a day to remember those babies that are in Heaven that one day we will meet.  I know so many who have lost babies during their pregnancy, some early on and some quite late, and no matter the time, it hurts. I struggle with this even today because not only is it an awareness day, it is also the date my angel baby would have turned 1.  You see today was my EDD for the baby I lost in Feb. 2009. Last year on Oct. 15, I stayed in bed mourning the baby that should have been all day (though I was pregnant with Kaitlyn at this time) because even though we were lucky enough to go on to have another baby, it still hurt.

I can remember the day so clearly that I was sitting at the doctors office waiting for confirmation that I was indeed miscarrying and in walked a very pregnant woman.  It was all I could do to NOT run out of there crying. I went up to the front desk and asked them how much longer it would be and she was quite rude ( I don't think she works there anymore) and said I didn't have an appointment they would have to work me in. I went back and sat down and one of my favorite nurses came and took me back.  She apologized for the rude lady, she knew why I was there, she told me the doctor would be in soon. 

As I sat there waiting I wanted to get up and go to the front desk and ask that lady had she ever lost a baby that she had been trying for a year to have and then have to sit in a waiting room full of  people that were pregnant or holding newborns? Because if not, then she has no idea what it's like.  It's like someone taking a knife and stabbing you in the heart and twisting over and over. You cry, you are sad, you are mad and don't want to be around people who are pregnant or have newborns. You don't care they are happy or so uncomfortable because they are ready to pop, because at that moment you would do ANYTHING to be that happy or uncomfortable if it meant your baby was still alive.

A friend of mine recently went in for their 20 week ultrasound and to find out if they were having a boy or a girl.  While it was a surprise baby they were happy and excited to find out if they would be adding another boy or a 4th girl. Unfortunately there was no heartbeat found for the little boy during the ultrasound. Even with my own loss I can't imagine going in at 20 weeks and finding out my baby had died. I just want to hug her and let her know I am here.  Anyone who has lost a baby will tell you there are no real words of comfort at this point. Just knowing there are friends there for you in case you want to talk or need someone to watch the other kids while you grieve is what you want, what you need. 

So today I am remembering my little angel in Heaven along with all my friends and their angels.