That is how I feel right now. This month started off pretty good, but turned out to be not so great. Most people I know do not know this but we have been TTC for about 13 months now, we finally did conceive in Jan. I tested Feb 2 and it came up positive right away...so happy and scared because it had taken so long. We didn't have that issue with the girls, so the fact it took more than a couple months really threw us for a loop.
The first two weeks I was miserable feeling, morning sickness, tired, achy and grumpy. ALL of the things you really want to be when you are pregnant after trying for so long. A week after I tested positive, I had LIGHT one time spotting, though ok no big deal, probably implantation. Went to my ob/gyn on Feb 12 and told her, she also mentioned she saw some pink when doing the exam. Ok but she didn't really seem worried but did want me to go get my hcg levels checked out 2 times.
So on the 13th I went up and had my blood work done, the weekend progressed and the spotting started.....by Sunday it was more red than pink or brown. This is not normally a good sign, but I was trying to remain positive since I had read alot online about how people spotted even red and still things turned out fine. Called my dr Monday morning and they said to go straight in and get my blood work done, plus I ended up having to go a 2nd time that day so I could go back Tues morning and get a Rhogam shot, since I am A negative. Well Tues cramps started up and pretty much put me in bed, hubby had to come home from work and call the dr. They got my results back and it wasn't good. My levels on Friday had been about 1000 (which is not great for 6 weeks) and then on Monday they were down to 634. The dr asked me to come in first thing Wed morning.
Basically it was just a visit for her to tell me I was miscarrying unfortunately. She gave me some meds to help speed up the process, some pain meds in case the cramps worsened plus some antibiotics. Then told me I had to get my hcg levels checked again this week, to insure they were continuing to go down. If not then I guess a D & C would be scheduled....the pills seemed to have " worked" I am guessing. The bleeding has stopped and I just feel empty now.... hard to believe just a short couple weeks ago I was excited about our little one to complete our family. Now it's over.
Last week was awful, I literally stayed in bed everyday all day long, luckily dh was able to work from home and really didn't miss to much work. I was very depressed and sad and cried alot and still do at times when I let my mind dwell on it. Some days are better than others, and on Oct 9 this yr, I know that I will be sad and it will take time to heal.
I am thankful for the support from my family and friends because they truly helped me get through this all. So the next question is, are we going to try again, soon, later, months from now etc....to this I have no answer. Time will only tell.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Saturday, January 31, 2009
It's the Weekend, Baby!
Finally, it's been a long week! I have been working alot on things with my moms group, so I am behind on a little bit of everything. It's dues time, which means trying to collect $12 from about 100 moms, not an easy task. Today was the cut off, everyone has known since Dec 5, but we still had people paying today! ARGGHH drives me crazy!
Other than that, not to much else going on. Hailey's been sick for a couple days but seems to be a bit better today. Jess and I went to a birthday party at the bowling alley today. She had a blast, it was her first actual time at a bowling alley. She's had her practice though on Wii bowling so she had the concept down already.
I have managed to stay caught up on house work though, laundry is done and it's not normally done until late late Sunday night. We have the dishes done with the exception of tonight's dinner plates. I was hoping for a fun night of playing Wii with the family but Hailey was cranky because she couldn't win. She wants to play Mario Kart but doesn't understand it takes alot of practice to get really play, course then again neither does Jess lol.
We are still slowly unpacking the house, it doesn't seem like it'll ever get done, which is depressing! Alot of this stuff I hope to get rid of at a yard sale this Spring, already planning one for late April before it gets to hot! Nice to have some extra spending money for Disney in May as well.
One last thing before I close my semi update post, don't forget to take a moment and make a small donation to Relay For Life. Click the badge up at the top and make a donation today!
Other than that, not to much else going on. Hailey's been sick for a couple days but seems to be a bit better today. Jess and I went to a birthday party at the bowling alley today. She had a blast, it was her first actual time at a bowling alley. She's had her practice though on Wii bowling so she had the concept down already.
I have managed to stay caught up on house work though, laundry is done and it's not normally done until late late Sunday night. We have the dishes done with the exception of tonight's dinner plates. I was hoping for a fun night of playing Wii with the family but Hailey was cranky because she couldn't win. She wants to play Mario Kart but doesn't understand it takes alot of practice to get really play, course then again neither does Jess lol.
We are still slowly unpacking the house, it doesn't seem like it'll ever get done, which is depressing! Alot of this stuff I hope to get rid of at a yard sale this Spring, already planning one for late April before it gets to hot! Nice to have some extra spending money for Disney in May as well.
One last thing before I close my semi update post, don't forget to take a moment and make a small donation to Relay For Life. Click the badge up at the top and make a donation today!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Relay For Life - Huntsville Metro
It's time to Relay! Relay for Life that is!
"Each year, across the nation, one event brings together entire communities to take part in the fight against cancer. That event is the American Cancer Society Relay For Life®. It's a time and place where people come to celebrate those who have survived cancer, remember those we've lost, and fight back against a disease that touches too many lives.
Won't you join us this year and be a part of Relay?
It's not just an opportunity to celebrate, remember, and fight back - your involvement will help the American Cancer Society work toward a mission of eliminating cancer as a major health issue and will support much-needed services in your community. Thanks in part to the donations from Relay For Life and other events, the Society is saving lives, helping those touched by cancer, and empowering people to fight this disease all over the world. "
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last year was my first Relay For Life experience and it was awesome! There are no real words to describe the feeling as the Survivors Lap starts and kicks off the event. Seeing these people who survived cancer, walking and enjoying life is enough to bring tears to your eyes. As evening draws near, they begin the Lighting of the Luminaries, everyone turns off the campsite lights, and observes a silent moment. They begin to play music that is enough alone to make you cry, you begin to walk the track, looking at the luminaries. They are In Honor of or In Memory Of, people have purchased these and wrote the names of loved ones on them. You just can't go to this event and not be moved by the whole experience.
The Huntsville/Madison Moms & Tots group ( the moms group I run) had a team last yr, our goal was to raise $3000 and I am happy to say we surpassed that goal and raised over $5000 for ACS! This year our goal is $5000 for the team and I personally hope to raise $200 or more. You see that round button over at the top, click it, donate money and feel good about helping funding the search for a cure. It's tax deductible, you'll get a receipt in the mail, I am asking everyone to donate $10.00, that's like 2 cups of coffee from Starbucks! Surely you can give up those 2 cups for Cancer!
Thanks to everyone who donated last year and I hope you'll do the same this year as well! Check your local areas, find out if they are having a Relay and go join the fun!
"Each year, across the nation, one event brings together entire communities to take part in the fight against cancer. That event is the American Cancer Society Relay For Life®. It's a time and place where people come to celebrate those who have survived cancer, remember those we've lost, and fight back against a disease that touches too many lives.
Won't you join us this year and be a part of Relay?
It's not just an opportunity to celebrate, remember, and fight back - your involvement will help the American Cancer Society work toward a mission of eliminating cancer as a major health issue and will support much-needed services in your community. Thanks in part to the donations from Relay For Life and other events, the Society is saving lives, helping those touched by cancer, and empowering people to fight this disease all over the world. "
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last year was my first Relay For Life experience and it was awesome! There are no real words to describe the feeling as the Survivors Lap starts and kicks off the event. Seeing these people who survived cancer, walking and enjoying life is enough to bring tears to your eyes. As evening draws near, they begin the Lighting of the Luminaries, everyone turns off the campsite lights, and observes a silent moment. They begin to play music that is enough alone to make you cry, you begin to walk the track, looking at the luminaries. They are In Honor of or In Memory Of, people have purchased these and wrote the names of loved ones on them. You just can't go to this event and not be moved by the whole experience.
The Huntsville/Madison Moms & Tots group ( the moms group I run) had a team last yr, our goal was to raise $3000 and I am happy to say we surpassed that goal and raised over $5000 for ACS! This year our goal is $5000 for the team and I personally hope to raise $200 or more. You see that round button over at the top, click it, donate money and feel good about helping funding the search for a cure. It's tax deductible, you'll get a receipt in the mail, I am asking everyone to donate $10.00, that's like 2 cups of coffee from Starbucks! Surely you can give up those 2 cups for Cancer!
Thanks to everyone who donated last year and I hope you'll do the same this year as well! Check your local areas, find out if they are having a Relay and go join the fun!
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