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Monday, April 6, 2009

Avoidance

I think I am trying to avoid the inevitable, being around people with babies or that are pregnant. I don't think I am doing it on purpose, but it happens and maybe it's subconsciously. I am tired today but I could have went to the lunch meetup we had...but there would be someone there with a newborn. I could have gone to many playdates last week but babies and/or pregnant people were there.

Interestingly enough I had a parents night out at my house this past weekend to benefit Relay For Life and had several little ones plus a pregnant mommy. It wasn't bad, I thought it would bother me, but it didn't. However we were really really busy so there wasn't much time to sit and dwell on it. I found out yesterday a good friend is expecting a baby, due in Dec. I am truly happy for her and told her so by email. She's the only one I think I have told since Feb when I miscarried. That's a good sign right? I hope so but we'll see.

I think hubby and I have decided we'll start trying again seeing as how we haven't been to careful recently. I hope that I am choosing to go forward for the right reasons and not because of the hurt I have from hearing/seeing/reading about others being pregnant. I think that plagues we quite a bit right now. We knew we wanted a third child, we tried for over a year and I feel we are back at square one again. Trying to figure out if we are doing the right thing.....for me though I just fear another miscarriage. I don't know how I would handle it.....

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On the good news side, we only have 1 month, 2 weeks and 2 days til our Family Disney Vacation. I am trying to stay pumped up and think of this when I get down. Like today. I have our dining reservations done, we have the hotel booked and everything is paid for. I do need to buy the girls some summer clothes soon along with hubby and I too. I am excited we get 8 days/7 nights this time around. We'll actually be able to relax too and that will be much needed!

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