Wednesday, April 22, 2009

One step forward and then two back....

Well another disappointing month in the ttc adventure....Sigh. I thought this may be the month, the month I would get a positive test. I delayed testing as long as I feel I 28 came and I couldn't resist. I was feeling tired, a little nauseated anyways so I thought, just maybe I would be pregnant. Nothing but a wasted test, came up neg and AF came the next day. It's getting harder each month, negative tests, thinking about the baby I miscarried in Feb and wondering if and when I'll ever get pregnant.

It was 13 cycles before I got pg in Jan..and now back to another 14 total, since Feb was skipped and march as well. It's hard to know we have been trying to get pg since Jan 08 and here it is almost May 09. Sometimes I wonder if we should continue, I'll be 32 in about 3 weeks and the girls are 4 and 8.5 yrs old.... Perhaps I'll give it to the end of this yr and then if I am not pg that will be it. Maybe I am only supposed to have 2 children, maybe that is the plan. I really don't know, hubby and I went back and forth for awhile about this and finally decided to move forward.

I guess once we get back from Disney at the end of May I will go to my Dr in June and see what she says. I never thought I would be on this track of having to seek help to get pregnant since I had no problems the first two times. I know I am not alone in this journey as there are many who go through this but some days it sure feels like it.


Alexandria said...

Oh hunny *hugs* Don't give up hope beautiful. Have faith in God. It will happen when it's meant to happen. Do not, though, let it get to the point that sex is just a means to get pregnant.

Ambitious Blonde said...

Thanks Alex, I am trying to stay positive, just sometimes it's really, really hard. I am surrounded by pg people or people who just had babies. I know what ya mean, so far it's not become the chore to get pg and I hope it doesn't either. Thanks again.